My struggles and inspiration.

I cannot say how incredibly, indescribably grateful I am for my friends. I have been gone and out of touch for a long time, and now I am back and needing support more than ever, and I am truly seeing how amazing my friends are :) It's so clear that people who really love you wont fail you during the times you need them most.

I feel like I have been blessed with the ability to carry a fairly large burden. From my early teenage years I have had to learn to toughen up and hit the curve balls life is constantly throwing at me. I am so grateful that God has blessed me with this strength and faith in Him. But on Sunday everything just snapped. It has been building and building and then suddenly everything was crushing me and I panicked. One of the hardest (and most important) parts of my "new" life in Christ is finding better ways to cope with sadness, loneliness and hard times in general. I'm going to be honest, my first thought was that I needed a drink. My second thought was that I needed a man to comfort me and make me feel good about myself. These are marks on my life that I am trying to flee from. So I packed a bag and drove up to Allison's house that second.

I have been staying in Seattle since then, going to some of her classes at SPU, hanging out with her and her roommates, having long discussions (she is a wonderful therapist) and just over all seeking some peace. It has been a wonderful week and now I am heading back to Shelton.

I say all of this to speak honestly about the importance of friends during times of intense struggles. Never underestimate hospitality, availability and advice to those who seek them. Thank you to everyone who has been supporting me over the last month. It is a lonely road, but I am so thankful for everyone who loves me :)