Freeeeedom.

If you read this blog you've probably realized that I like to work hard and achieve things. This is not meant to be a brag on myself, but is a product of my desire for love and approval from my friends, family, and pretty much anyone who will commend me. I wouldn't call myself a perfectionist, there are frequently a lot of areas out of my life that are out of control. But I do need to constantly be achieving things to feel good about myself.

The Bible says however that I do not need to achieve anything to receive salvation or God's love. God cares about my submission and obedience to Him, NOT how much I can achieve.

Over the last few months I've felt that I've needed a change to my lifestyle, because everything on my plate puts me in a constant state of stress and makes me very un-Christlike. When I put more focus on school, our business gets put on the back burner and I feel like a failure. When I work more, my grades suffer and I feel like a failure. You get the idea. But I have not felt like there was anything I could give up.

I should not be living my life and working hard at things because a) I'm afraid if I fail people will love me less or b) If I'm not achieving a degree or success at my job/our business my life has no purpose and I will have less value as a person.

I should be living my life and working hard at things because a) God has called me to each and every aspect of my life and b) It reflects his love, service, and furthers the Kingdom for his glory.

Since God revealed this to me over the last few days, and after praying about these issues, I have felt with certainty that it is the right time for me to take some time off school. Over this last year there has not been a time where I have wanted to take a break from school, but God has changed my heart. At the beginning of this year it was my number one goal to get into a University, but by letting God shape my life and my decisions, I now feel peace and excitement about continuing to work at Starbucks, focusing on running our business, and moving to Olympia.

I'm not only thrilled about having the time and energy to pour into our photography business (my real passion!), I'm excited to be able to spend more time investing into my relationships with people and serving in our church.

Please pray for me during this season of change in my life. Even though I have recognized a lot of fears I have been living by, this doesn't make them go away and I need to constantly be surrendering them to God and trusting in His work in my life. I'm also praying for a great room to be opened that fits in my budget, preferably with other Christian women.